5 Ways to Set Healthy Work Boundaries
As a coach, I often hear that one of the hardest parts of working through a pandemic has been the shifting expectations.
Where and when do we work?
What does it mean to show up to a job from home?
How do we balance it all, particularly when offices are closed and children are home sick?
Just as people begin to get comfortable with a new status quo, things continue to shift: now many are going back to work in person, starting new roles, or trying to find more joy outside the digital office as summer approaches and the world cracks its doors open a bit.
Are you finding it difficult to reestablish work/life boundaries?
I recently had a discussion with a coaching client who just started a new job, and has been trying to juggle being readily available whilst also establishing space to work independently and switch off. The latter has proved difficult, and she is riddled with guilt about how her performance will be perceived if she’s not constantly responding. We brainstormed some options together about setting boundaries — and while these ideas are not all original or revelatory, sometimes it helps to hear tips from another angle.
1. First Things Thirst
If you have a thirst for being first at work, that can mean inadvertently knocking down your own boundaries in the pursuit of praise. Most of us want to please and be acknowledged for the time and effort we pour into our work. But with remote work, a big problem is that “showing up” over the past two years has equated to a 24/7 digital frenzy:
How quickly did you respond to that email?
How many emails did you send today to prove you were working?
How many meeting requests did you accept?
And the list goes on with any number of communication tools. All of this denotes presence and commitment, but it often amounts to needlessly filling minutes because you — or your superiors — have forgotten what it means to work smart.
Action: Make an effort to be more intentional and mindful about your reaction time. Take charge of our own responsiveness. Next time someone sends you a message, take two minutes to pause before you react. Decide whether a response is urgent, important, or can wait. Your reaction is your action, so use it to your advantage.
2. Speak Up
You need to voice your own boundaries — out loud, not in a careless whisper (George Michael style). People have different working styles and priorities, so don’t just assume that everyone knows what yours are. Lately, I’ve seen people add footers to their email signatures regarding their “office hours” and response times. What structures do you personally need to put in place to be able to switch off more easily?
Action: Create a list of what you need to set realistic boundaries. Maybe that’s an email footer, voicemail message, out-of-office template, or simply a conversation with a colleague/superior.
3. Mindset Matters
Learning to set and observe healthy boundaries can be a challenge for many, but ultimately you are in charge of your mindset about work/life boundaries. Here are some questions to ponder:
What is the cost of ignoring your boundaries?
In what areas of your life do you set healthy boundaries, and what can you learn from that?
What values are being dismissed when you stomp on your boundaries?
Keep in mind: even when you speak up about your boundaries, ultimately you can’t stop others from ignoring them. That coworker who sends emails on Sundays? Maybe that’s their best time to focus — they have the freedom to send the email, and you have the freedom to ignore it until Monday. Don’t take others’ boundaries as the norm; work in your space.
Action: Create a physical reminder of your values. This could be a photograph, poem, or anything that speaks about what matters to you. Put it up on your desk or wherever you work, and revisit this reminder when you feel like you’re getting off track.
4. Team Up
If you struggle with a mentality that setting boundaries is selfish or you are letting the team down in some way, think about it in this light: setting your own healthy boundaries actually pays it forward to your colleagues and other employees below you. Are you contributing to a culture of 24/7 frenzy that drives people to quit, or are you helping to improve it?
Action: If an issue has been raised in your team, join up with a colleague and explore ways to improve boundaries. You may also have the option to have someone advocate for you/the team, which is a great option. Have a brainstorm session, and make it a priority to take the lead on setting a good example for the rest of your organization.
It’s also worth noting that if a team consistently fails to respect your values and boundaries, it might be time to look for a new one.
5. Splash Out for Summer
Summer is here, and there is definitely a window for you to take time off, reconnect with friends, and reboot any plans you put on hold this winter. How about holding these moments as extra special, and making sure that you give yourself time to savour? Rather than pack too much in, perhaps tack on an extra slowdown day at the end: use this time to get settled, organized, and take a breath before you return to work.
Action: Calendar a 30-minute window to look at your upcoming holiday plans. Can you add an extra buffer for yourself? Set yourself up for success by taking some well-deserved rest.
Joyfully yours,
Dr. Helen
