The Value of Male Allyship: How to Build Bridges at Work
Earlier this year, I spoke on a panel about inclusion for Women’s History Month. My fellow panelist — let’s call him ‘Mark’ — shared that when he was asked to join the panel, his immediate response was: “What on earth do I have to offer?” He wanted to be an ally, but was conscious of stepping on eggshells and wasn’t sure his story would be welcome.
But his story was one that certainly resonated with a lot of professional women in the audience: witnessing his wife having to hide her pregnancy because she was concerned that she would be passed over for promotions and opportunities. He was appalled and felt helpless — so he vowed from that day on to be intentional as a leader about how he showed up in the workplace, and to find ways he could educate himself on issues women faced on a regular basis.
Women need male allies — or as I like to call them, “mallies” — more than ever.
The White Men's Leadership Study found that more than 70% of white men stated the biggest challenge to engaging in Inclusion and Belonging efforts was knowing whether they were “wanted” in the conversation. Mark felt that way, but he chose to stay the course and be an active participant on the panel. He owned his discomfort.
In my own journey of professional growth, mallies have played a huge role: setting up doorways for me that I might not have even seen, let alone been able to step through. As a coach, I see time and time again how many women’s career frustrations stem from limited access to networks and opportunities, which leaves them feeling excluded and unsupported. And whilst women’s networks are incredible for brainstorming, learning, and finding ways through together, in parallel, we also need to focus on making male allyship part of any business model about supporting women in the workplace.
Leaders need to ensure that their teams — especially when male-led — make space for women’s professional growth, fulfillment, and success at all times. How? Build this B-R-I-D-G-E:
B - Balance advice with straight talk.
Male allies often offer balanced guidance, combining honesty and clarity in their advice, which can be a huge asset in the office. Your ability to provide straightforward input (while maintaining empathy and understanding) can be invaluable to a colleague’s professional growth. Research finds that women tend to get "nicer" feedback than their male counterparts; that is not allyship, nor is it a helpful approach. Feedback needs to be factual and actionable, ideally delivered with radical candor.
R - Respect the journey and approach.
Recognize and honor the individual journeys, stories, and unique work approaches of all your colleagues — not just the ones who look and think like you. Your respect for their perspectives and methods helps foster an environment where diverse viewpoints are valued.
I - Invite women into your networks.
We know that panels are still, on countless occasions, woefully underrepresented with female speakers. Pull up some chairs for women! Call inequity out when you see it. By extending invitations and creating inclusive spaces, you can help amplify women’s voices and impact.
D - Dedicate more of your time.
Being a mally means showing up consistently for women. What are some ways in which you can specifically dedicate time to supporting and uplifting the women in your professional and personal life? Your commitment to serving as a resource for others demonstrates dedication to building a more supportive workplace.
G - Give space.
Sometimes, leaders may not even notice that the men in the room are taking up more space, speaking the loudest, and excluding others from the conversation. If you see something, say something — don’t let others get talked over, and ensure everyone has a chance to grab the mic.
E - Endlessly express encouragement.
Offer encouragement as a source of support. Studies show that recognition plays an important part in women’s professional growth. Your unwavering belief in their abilities and potential helps boost confidence and resilience, for sure!
Bridges aren’t built overnight, but if the energy and engagement is there, we can help more women get to the other side. Let’s keep building together.
Additional Resources:
Male Allyship from the Perspectives of Women in Technology (Tech.): Dr. Piya Kishore
The Urgent Need for More Men to Mentor and Sponsor Women: Cate Luzio
Be a Better Ally: Harvard Business Review
Radical Candor: Kim Scott
Don’t Just Mentor Women and People of Color. Sponsor Them: Harvard Business Review
