Rolling In The Weep — Or 3 Ways To Coach Yourself Through 2020

Chloe reached for a tissue and let out a long sigh. She had finally stopped weeping and looked at us expectantly for answers. We, the group coaching participants, eagerly obliged. Intense emotions like anxiety have a powerful effect on how we think, feel, and behave. A sounding board can be vital to talk through such emotions, but sometimes that’s not an option — here are three techniques you can try on your own to coach yourself through a tough spot:  

Talk To You

Think back to the last time a friend came to you with a problem. You likely found yourself, as we did with Chloe, able to coach her and/or share your observations because you had a psychological distance to the issue; it wasn’t happening to you directly. Apply this approach to yourself. Third person self-talk is a powerful tool for emotion regulation, as observed in research out of the University of Michigan: they found that small shifts in the language people used to refer to themselves had measurable influence on thoughts, feelings, and behaviour.

Let It Rain

Try the acronym RAIN to help you manage your emotions (as suggested by Dr. Santos, The Science of Wellbeing):

• Recognize what you are feeling and name the emotions that underpin your feelings

• Accept the situation and simply sit with that observation

• Investigate what you are feeling by imagining you are talking to someone else

• Nurture yourself by being compassionate with your current state

Be Like Batman Or Catwoman 

Research found that children engaged in a difficult assignment who were asked to imagine "how Batman would go about the task" performed significantly better when they engaged in role play as the character. With Halloween around the corner, now would be a great time to don your favourite superhero power suit to help you solve a difficult situation.  

As Adele, singer extraordinaire reminds us “turn your sorrow into treasure gold” (Rolling in the deep)

Hugs and joy