There really is no way around it — success isn’t truly possible without networking. And networking is most effective if you act on these three little words…

The reality — and downside — of adversity is that it has negative effects on self-esteem, power, and worldviews. However, if we can note when this happens, we can manage adversity to work with and through it — rather than negating it.

Have you ever considered what women who consistently achieve — despite difficult circumstances — have in common? Studies show that women who have had successful careers share two key attributes: the ability to manage stress and overcome adversity.

It’s been quite a year, hasn’t it?

We’ve become so accustomed to this “new normal,” we might even start to forget that this has been a decidedly abnormal and difficult adjustment process.

It goes without saying that we are all more than ready for the fresh start 2021 is offering — but are you in the right mindset to make the most of the year ahead?

It can be lonely getting off a Zoom call and figuring out how to actually stay above the fray: connected, engaged, and relevant. Many of us are working through the juggle struggle (a term recently shared with me by a coaching client). The juggle keeps you intensely focused on the balls but not necessarily on the bigger picture. While juggling, it’s difficult to actually keep your eye on your environment as well — yet it’s important to do so if you want to continue or accelerate your career climb.

Chloe reached for a tissue and let out a long sigh. She had finally stopped weeping and looked at us expectantly for answers. We, the group coaching participants, eagerly obliged. Intense emotions like anxiety have a powerful effect on how we think, feel, and behave. A sounding board can be vital to talk through such emotions, but sometimes that’s not an option — here are three techniques you can try on your own to coach yourself through a tough spot:

In the words of Adam Grant, psychologist and author, “If you want to get better career advice, you can start by reflecting on what you would tell someone else with a similar question. Listen to the advice you give to others. It’s usually the advice you need to take yourself. And it might be the best way to motivate yourself, too.” (New York Times, April 2020) 

Women learn through mentoring.

My coaching client squealed in delight as she recounted how her interview had gone better than she could have imagined, that she had been offered the new role before she even reached home. She did an obligatory hip wiggle and a solo high five to no one in particular. When I pressed her for what had made the difference in her approach this time, she had said that she benefitted from having two very different mindsets as a sounding board. Richard and Leila, her two inhouse mentors were truly instrumental in getting her moving on up.

The last time I spat out my tea was when a friend shared one of the silly COVID quarantine videos - infact the British family doing their rendition of Les Miserables When was the last time you had a side splitting guffaw?

A number of researchers such as Josselson* have underscored that women’s development is linked to their sense of self in relation to others, rather than as individuals operating independently. This was all the more evident during this coaching conversation. We were experiencing informal learning.

Having worked as a U.N. HR Professional for years, I can assure you: the only thing more frustrating than an individual not finding the access point to land a job at the UN; is the UN not finding enough talent for open positions! The UN looks to fill jobs on a regular basis so do not get discouraged if you are struggling to find an entry point. Whilst it is often a convoluted and murky process, doing these five things can help tighten your search.

Why do you care how women learn? So many reasons. SO you can inspire the women working on your team, so you can gain clarity on who you are, so you can be a better leader, friend, partner, parent, daughter, niece etc. so you can thrive and ultimately have the life you want and know deep down you deserve.

“Wisdom comes from reasoning together” African proverb

These last few months have opened up, what I call ‘blistered conversations’, conversations that have turned people inside out and surfaced much discomfort, shame, pain, vulnerability. Yet, through all of the muck, there has been a rich opportunity for learning and engaging from a place of humility and openness, no matter where we are on the journey of understanding one another. While there is no pre-packaged formula for having a candid and thoughtful conversation, there are some ways worth exploring in support speaking to each other with candor and openness on sensitive issues.

Despite a whirlwind of thoughts in my head, I hadn’t been able to put them on paper in a sensical manner, because, as often happens, my brain was flooded with negative thoughts about sharing my insights, for fear of them not being smart, witty or academic enough for consumption. And so, negative thoughts would ultimately win. You can imagine my relief when I learned that the National Science Foundation’s 2005 research on human thoughts found the average person has approximately 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day of which of which 80% were negative. Even more troubling, 95% of those thoughts were exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. There was something comforting about that piece of troubling data: I was happy to learn that was not alone! If your negative nelly has hijacked your mind during this chaotic time, give these three options a try;

He gave me the biggest grin. Our kitchen table was covered in a mound of books, chargers and chocolate wrappers. My orderly husband, still in his weekend sweats, had turned our kitchen table into his new office. I stood in disbelief. I work from home and typically curate my work experience with specific books and gadgets on that very table. I was left staring at the spot he’d left for me, which at best, could accommodate my air-pods.

As a work from home newbie, he clearly didn’t operate with the same office etiquette and that’s when I realized there was no way we were both going to work from home without burning down the house. I decided to activate the “Time In” Tool Kit in an attempt to bring a harmonious touch to our new co-working space

I was over an hour late. I stood outside the building, slightly mortified at showing up at an after work networking event at such an hour. I did a quick phone scan hoping for a last minute excuse…refresh. Nothing. I climbed the stairs, found the door, made a bee line for the bar for a comfort object to clutch whilst doing the nonchalant nod and mingle. If anyone has ever walked in solo, you know what that looks like….

As a work from home newbie, he clearly didn’t operate with the same office etiquette and that’s when I realized there was no way we were both going to work from home without burning down the house. I decided to activate the “Time In” Tool Kit in an attempt to bring a harmonious touch to our new co-working space

I know when I feel great, I don’t always know when I am full, especially when devouring anything chocolate. However, I try (and often fail) to practice being consciously great and full ‘grateful’ each and every day. It is often easier to default to mulling over unpleasant aspects and experiences in our lives, especially as our brain is wired to pay attention to what may cause us harm. However, when we consciously look for a positive and uplifting moment in our day, it reroutes our attention to an instant that may have otherwise been ignored completely.

As a work from home newbie, he clearly didn’t operate with the same office etiquette and that’s when I realized there was no way we were both going to work from home without burning down the house. I decided to activate the “Time In” Tool Kit in an attempt to bring a harmonious touch to our new co-working space

There it was, sleek and pleasing to the eye. After months of nail-biting tweaking, my website was finally launched (tip: done is better than perfect). All I had to do was add a blog section to infuse it with my personality and thoughts on all things wonderful linked to lifelong learning, but then it happened…
A.k.a nothing happened. For nine months. We know how much can happen in nine months…
I managed to artfully dodge my commitment to getting thoughts on paper and sharing content with an audience.

As a work from home newbie, he clearly didn’t operate with the same office etiquette and that’s when I realized there was no way we were both going to work from home without burning down the house. I decided to activate the “Time In” Tool Kit in an attempt to bring a harmonious touch to our new co-working space